Posted by
Cary Wesberry on Sunday, July 13, 2008 2:04:44 AM
Once upon a time, there was a little patch of filthy, dirty, grimy swampland sitting between the states of Maryland and Virginia. This magical kingdom, located on the bank of the Potomac River, was home to all sorts of mystical creatures. Wizards like Karl Rove lived in peace and harmony with other species such as elves (Dennis Kucinich), dwarves (Ross Perot), "white knights" (Robert Byrd), and ogres (Helen Thomas). The benevolent, yet dim-witted King George the 43rd, and his evil Queen Nancy of Botox, ruled them as best they could in these troubled times.
But the times were ever changing.
A new threat emerged from the furthest corner of the kingdom. The South Side, to be exact. Standing 12 feet tall, and built of solid muscle, the HopeChange Troll was unstoppable. Kingdoms cowered at his feet, rulers begged him for mercy, and his enemies were thrown under his giant chariot, trampled by warhorses. No one questioned his motives. No one questioned his tactics. No one questioned his lineage. For the answer to those questions was a sound thrashing. The HopeChange Troll's growing legions were rabid in the defense of their master. A more indestructible foe had never existed, and he was galloping his way to the kingdom on the Potomac.
On the opposite side of the kingdom, Sir John of Arizona was returning home. A lifelong soldier, he served his kingdom and his liege proudly, but after a half century, it was time to sheath his sword. Lady Cynthia missed her hero, and she believed his place was now by her side. Sir John agreed, and the couple retired to their modest estate, oblivious to the oncoming threat of the HopeChange Troll.
The royal messenger made it to the gates of the kingdom ahead of the HopeChange Troll, and gave warning to King George. HopeChange was coming, and it must be stopped. King George agreed, and sounded the alarm. Every peasant, serf, and page was to report to the kingdom's defenses to repel the irresistible force.
But the evil Queen Nancy of Botox would not have it. A woman who had been raised by witches, she cast a spell upon her husband, and convinced him that HopeChange was good. He must be allowed inside the kingdom's walls, and he must be allowed to speak. Helpless, King George gave the order, and the drawbridge was lowered. The HopeChange Troll would be given a hero's welcome into the kingdom on the Potomac, and Queen Nancy would sing his praises.
How does this exciting tale end? Will Sir John of Arizona defeat terrible HopeChange Troll? Find out by continuing to read the story at the link above! Evil Queen Nancy of Botox raised by witches? I couldn't imagine.